i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
Randomize
