Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
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