Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Randomize
