Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I would ride that face into the sunset
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize
