my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Randomize
