my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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