He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
I just found puke in my bra..
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize