Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
