why didn't you poke me back
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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