When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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