My friends, they love my intelligence
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
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