wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
Randomize
