I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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