the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Left my ID again and at a Giant's game. This is the second time they accepted my handgun safety certificate as proof of ID to buy beer.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
