Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
