don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
