I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I skipped work to stalk him.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
We are two peas in an std pod
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
