i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
