90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
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