She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
