I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
I currently don't understand fingers.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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