that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
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