If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Randomize
