the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I think people are normalizing furries
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize