Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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