i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
