And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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