ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
