Whod you bang
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
