During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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