I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
