this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
