My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
