the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
