What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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