Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
the night ended with taco bell and tears
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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