Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Randomize
