Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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