This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
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