DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
People With No Siblings Will Never Understand These 23 Things
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
25 Seemingly Normal Things That Give Some People Massive Anxiety
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in