one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Randomize
