babies were throwing up all over the place
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours