Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Randomize
