Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.

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  (248): They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking. http://tfl.nu/97aw
  Replies (9) Good night (684) Bad night (2419)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.

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  (845): Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand. http://tfl.nu/fgi3
  Replies (0) Good night (706) Bad night (1114)
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  (415): View more from California

  How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome

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  (415): How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome http://tfl.nu/pei8
  Replies (45) Good night (1061) Bad night (6589)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??

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  (517): last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet?? http://tfl.nu/wkxa
  Replies (39) Good night (1450) Bad night (5641)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.

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  (724): It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution. http://tfl.nu/mzdu
  Replies (0) Good night (847) Bad night (2556)
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.

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  (267): he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice. http://tfl.nu/aht5
  Replies (14) Good night (5278) Bad night (1088)
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  (252): View more from North Carolina

  she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?

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  (252): she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her? http://tfl.nu/iav7
  Replies (14) Good night (5304) Bad night (1269)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.

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  (814): Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one. http://tfl.nu/o44o
  Replies (5) Good night (2679) Bad night (964)
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  (417): View more from Missouri

  Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.

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  (417): Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go. http://tfl.nu/8zsf
  Replies (15) Good night (2187) Bad night (871)
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  (845): View more from New York

  I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.

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  (845): I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break. http://tfl.nu/bwgw
  Replies (4) Good night (1835) Bad night (704)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.

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  (303): I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted. http://tfl.nu/7vqn
  Replies (10) Good night (2005) Bad night (1241)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?

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  (703): can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ? http://tfl.nu/41ep
  Replies (7) Good night (1108) Bad night (906)
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  (540): View more from Virginia

  The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.

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  (540): The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one. http://tfl.nu/uhr4
  Replies (2) Good night (808) Bad night (492)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now

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  (814): Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now http://tfl.nu/h43x
  Replies (0) Good night (645) Bad night (278)
• Favorite

  (240): View more from Maryland

  Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that

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  (240): Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that http://tfl.nu/cbjn
  Replies (0) Good night (306) Bad night (169)

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