i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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