This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
Randomize
