I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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