I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
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