Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize
