I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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