I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize
