sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We really have to stop convincing people tazing is the cool thing to do.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Randomize
