so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Randomize
