I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
i think i just lost a toe
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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