Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Randomize
