How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
