Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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