If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
