Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
