??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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